Big things, little things

If I hadn’t forgotten the electrical cord for my laptop at work, I wouldn’t have gone to the office at 6:00 in the morning to get it.

If I hadn’t been angry about driving to work on my designated “work from home day”, I wouldn’t have been fucking swearing at the fucking dividing line in the fucking road, the speedometer matching my ratcheting irritation.

If the coffee shop had been open at 6:15, I wouldn’t have gone for a walk.

If I hadn’t sought the river to soothe my foul temper, I’d have missed dawn’s effort to swish the river from black to yellow.

If the Canada goose hadn’t been floating alone close to shore, I wouldn’t have walked over to see if he was injured.

If he had flown away, I wouldn’t have stood still, staring at him, wishing I had his puffy down to warm me, too, on a chilly spring morning.

If I hadn’t stood still, my pulse would have stomped further down the path – away, away, away.

If I hadn’t watched his stillness, tucked tight against the flow of the river, I’d have missed the sandpiper on stick legs, knee deep in the water bobbing up and down like an apologetic waiter.

I’d have missed the sandpiper.

And I’d have gone home angry, wondering about a lone goose, not knowing there was a sandpiper.

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24 thoughts on “Big things, little things

  1. Yvonne May 7, 2016 / 5:13 pm

    As I read this I went from annoyed sympathy for you, to a feeling of calm.

    Like

    • Susanne May 8, 2016 / 10:45 am

      That sweet little sandpiper took all my anger and crankiness. Such a big thing to do for such a small critter.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. thecontentedcrafter May 7, 2016 / 7:22 pm

    I love this Susanne! You have captured the mood turning from foul to wonder in a few well chosen words – and you make me aware that while I don’t know how often nature has saved me from wrecking my whole day, I am grateful for having the wits to recognise when she does!

    Like

    • Susanne May 8, 2016 / 10:47 am

      I’m grateful for the sandpiper and his tiny peeps and happy bobs for rescuing my wretched temper. I work relatively close to this river and often walk there at lunchtime. I’m sure it saves the day for me more often than I acknowledge.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Cynthia Jobin May 7, 2016 / 10:38 pm

    One could continue such a chain ad infinitum.. but even though you put it in terms of what YOU did and didn’t do— of rational cause and effect— the chanting of “if I hadn’t…if I hadn’t…” mesmerizes after a while and gives a sense of something larger, something greater at work than the simple logical progression of one fact to another….

    Like

    • Susanne May 8, 2016 / 10:50 am

      The first draft had me going and going and going. It was kind of fun to see how far I could take it but you’re absolutely right – it could have gone on forever and been pointless. I didn’t really know how to end it so I just summarized which when I look at the thing now looks kind of awkward. Guess I could take it away but that feels like cheating.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Bruce Goodman May 8, 2016 / 3:21 am

    Duck shooting season began here yesterday so the Canada goose – of which there are thousands – would’ve got shot. This posting summed up my mood admirably – until towards the end, when the feeling changed. And if I hadn’t read this I’d still be in one stinking mood…

    Like

    • Susanne May 8, 2016 / 11:07 am

      It seems like the Canada goose is becoming the new urban pigeon in many places around the world. They take over parks and beaches leaving their green turdlets everywhere. This time of year they are still migrating north and I love seeing their big v’s high overhead honking madly but I instinctively want to cover my head, just in case. But it’s rare to see a lone goose and I did wonder what the heck he was doing by himself. Guess he just needed some quiet time. Don’t we all.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Luanne May 8, 2016 / 3:08 pm

    I LOVE the pattern of this. Beautiful. The pattern itself says most of all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Susanne May 8, 2016 / 5:54 pm

      Thank you, Luanne. How the day can change thanks to a little bird, but you know how that is!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Ellen Morris Prewitt May 10, 2016 / 12:16 pm

    This captures so well that slow unwinding from anger, which sometimes I have to make myself want to actually release.

    Like

    • Susanne May 10, 2016 / 5:35 pm

      I like your comment about wanting to release the anger. It’s hard to get to that place sometimes and I wouldn’t have got there if it hadn’t been for the sandpiper. I wish I could bottle that moment and bring it with me.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Rosanna May 13, 2016 / 9:13 am

    Susanne, you just made me envious (again) of the beauty that surrounds you, of nature’s vistas within your reach. And what a unique, creative way to tell us you had a great day afterall!

    Like

    • Susanne May 13, 2016 / 5:35 pm

      I am very lucky to live in a smallish city where beautiful walks and bird sightings abound.

      Like

  8. exiledprospero May 13, 2016 / 9:37 am

    A tremulous romp by the riverside of anger détente, a cornucopia of ‘what-ifs’ that pepper our quotidian existence… If there’s a grand scheme, I’d be hard pressed to know it, as our actions are scattered helter-skelter, like stars in the night.

    • Susanne May 13, 2016 / 5:34 pm

      If I’d been one minute earlier the car woulda run over me. Ya. It is a helter skelter life.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. D. Wallace Peach May 13, 2016 / 9:21 pm

    I love this, Sue. I love how the thread has all these little pearls on it, one leading to another, impossible to judge as good and bad because they lead to wonderful places that we wouldn’t have reached without following the strand. Great stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

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