The front deck had just been newly coated with water seal this morning, then wouldn’t you know, the spring gods decided to let fly fluffy organic matter from seeding trees. It is the curse of this part of the world that every season generates stuff that floats through the air. The spring fluff is accumulating on the deck and sticking which is more than I can say for my thoughts.
It’s as though I’m a dandelion seed spinning in the pollen-thick breeze. There are many seeds but when they land they don’t germinate. There’s a tightness in my gut when I sit down to write, a kind of dread like I’m not up to the job. I look up and I see fluff. I look inside and I see fluff. I look on the front deck and I see stuck fluff.
Down on our creek a new hatch of ducklings putter on the water, light as water bugs. When I see the fluff I think of the coyote that skulks through the underbrush. She’s done a good job of clearing out the beavers and rabbits. She must be hungry.
The ducklings are shepherded by two females. One sits on the grass with the babies while the other patrols the creek. What would they do if the coyote attacked? Abandon the babes? Peck it’s eyes out?
Fluff makes me think of dead ducklings. When I look at the blank page my head fills with it and I feel like a mama duck watching a cloud of exploding down.
The coyote has pups. I heard them yipping and howling about a month ago when I took my small, white dog out for his nocturnal pee. She’s teaching them to hunt and what better snack than a roosting brood. Two weeks ago when the eggs hatched there were 15 ducklings. I counted 8 this afternoon. Down for the count.
I’m feeling like my thoughts need to be gathered and tended, like mama duck needs to watch over her ducklings and nurse them into adulthood. They need 100% of my attention for a while, just until they grow some feathers and can fly away from the coyote. In other words, I’m going to take a blogging break for a while. I’ll be reading and following your posts but refraining from commenting and posting. I don’t know how long “a while” will be but I do feel the need to settle into some quiet writing away from the screen.
Keep your pen on the page, friends, watch out for coyotes, and protect your ducklings.